Shoulda
by DarkJadedRose
Summary: A dial tone causes a distance between two of the first students in Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. ...Based on before the 1st episode of Evo... Jott


_Now…all of ya know that I am not a Jott fan. But after reading Youtube by Amazing Redd Pheonix, I couldn't help but do a Jott fic. Forgive me Scogue and Scitty fans. I have decided to tread my feet upon the dark side._

_This is a one-shot song fic, so all you Jott fans don't get too excited. ;) it takes a lot more then a great fic to reel me in!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, alas, only in my X-Men plagued dreams. And Shoulda is owned by Hinder._

**A/N: This is slightly AU set before the others came to the institute. You'll figure out what I mean along the way. Dedicated to Amazing Redd Pheonix for the unintentional inspiration.**

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Scott stared at the phone in his hands in dismay. He could not bring himself to hang it up even though the dial tone stated that no one was on the other line. How could he have been so stupid? She finally confessed what she had been holding so deep inside while she had been away on vacation with her parents. It may have been a cowardly way of saying it, but she had said it. Now he was the coward for not having responded; in fact for never responding. He never shared his emotions with her and now that the next step had been taken, he had not been able to bring himself to reply.

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**Before I hung up the phone all I could hear  
Was the dial tone ring in my ear  
If I could go back in time  
I'd say those three words**

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He remembered crystal clear the first time she had walked through the institute. Her hair had been up to her shoulders then and a much lighter shade of red before it began to darken to its crimson shade. Her eyes had reminded him of giant green saucers the first time she had laid eyes on the giant room that would be hers. He didn't say a word as he stood far off to the side, still afraid of his powers even though he had been using the special glasses that the professor had given him.

Within a few months they had a million pictures in their scrap book with little mementos from their planned trips outside with the professor when they were not being home-schooled. By the time they had turned fourteen, they had already shared their first kiss under the apple tree at the center of the garden and had their first date in the recreation room. After four years of having been together, she had been ready to take their relationship to the next emotional level and so had he. He had felt the words but had not been able to say them when he had a chance.

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**_  
_I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
And this can't be saved if you can't be found  
You hung up and left me for dead on the ground  
You didn't even say goodbye  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you**

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He placed the phone back in the receiver unable to hold it in his sweaty palms any longer. He looked down at the piece of paper in front of him that would be sent to a young mutant in Germany. He would be coming in a few months to the institute and the professor wanted him to know that he would have friends here. Scott did not know much detail but that the young guy looked a little different from anyone else; no further detail. But he left the paper on the table as he exited the room, unable to look down in fear that his tears would spill out of his glasses.

He felt as if his whole world had fallen apart. She had been the girl he could imagine the rest of his life with. He knew in his heart that there would be no way of him being able to move on. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, unable to clearly see its contents due to the cloudiness about his eyes. Why had he not said it? If he could feel it run through his body every time he looked at her. Every time he heard her name he could feel his heart skip a beat. What would it feel like to not have her look at him? To not hold her hand? To not hug her right before they went to sleep?

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**Now that you're gone I'm wasting away  
The life has been siphoned right out of my veins  
If I could go back in time  
I'd say those three words **

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She had just hung up. She had not even given him some time to let those words sink in. The second that she whispered them he had sucked in his breath; unable to speak. Then fear had set in and he could not say another word. But it had been mere seconds that passed before he felt that he would be able to reply. But the dial tone had cut him off. When he had attempted to call her back her mother had picked up the phone. Jean did not want to speak to him was what her mom basically said.

Scott tried to i.m. her on her cell phone but she would not respond and when he had attempted to call that last time all he got was the phone hung up on him. Why had she had so little faith in him? He should have just spit it out. If he knew how he felt about her, he should have just said so. But he was such an idiot. He always had to think about everything twice. He sunk to the floor and laid his head against the cold inside of the fridge.

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**I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
And this can't be saved if you can't be found  
You hung up and left me for dead on the ground  
You didn't even say goodbye  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you**

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He stood up quickly when he heard the footsteps walking by the kitchen. Most likely it was Professor McCoy who had stopped by for some odd reason; most likely to find out why Jean had not gone to their lab on thursday. Quickly, Scott stepped outside of the kitchen through the sliding door and went to the garden; his sneakers squishing a little because of the contact with the mossy green grass. He stepped on the concrete surrounding the fountain and let his fingers run over the water, touching one of the rare gold fishes that dwelled there.

He wondered if he had blown it completely with Jean. Had their relationship really ended? He knew that if she had just been upset she would have picked up the phone. But when she was upset she did not forgive easily and that worried him. She would not take sorry as an answer. She would not believe him if he told her that he truly felt the same way. She would not read his mind if he asked her to just to get the truth. It could be over… It would be over…

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**When you said those three words  
I kinda freaked out  
When you said them first my jaw hit the ground  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
And this can't be saved if you can't be found  
You hung up and left me for dead on the ground  
You didn't even say goodbye **

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A few days later Jean walked through the doors of the institute and hugged Xavier with everything she had. She was excited to be back home if not a little uncomfortable at the way things went between her and Scott. She looked about and not finding him anywhere she felt her heart drop. It truly was over. He must have wanted out if he had not even been there to greet her when she had gotten home.

After that night he had not attempted to call her back. On the other hand, Duncan had even come by to visit her since he had been visiting his grandparents who lived a few blocks away from her house. Duncan, without even being in a relationship with her, had told her how much he really cared about her and wanted to be with her. Scott did not say the words to her for whatever reason, but whatever reason it was, he had not even waited for her to explain.

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**And this can't be saved****  
And this can't be saved  
If you can't be found  
If you can't be found ****

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Scott ran home from his soccer practice as soon as he could. He had promised he would coach the primaries the week before and had been told that Jean would come back the day after. But he had received a call from the professor that Jean would be coming that very same day. He ran home as fast as he could and prayed that he would save up enough to get that station wagon he had eyed in the used car lot soon enough. When he walked in he saw her with her back to him. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hi Jean!" he said excitedly. She turned around and gave him a soft smile before holding up her finger for him to hold on.

"Sure Duncan, I'll be ready tomorrow at 7:30," she said and hung up the phone. She turned towards him and gave him a soft hug before pulling back. Her face was positively erased of emotion and at that appearance he erased his.

"I'm glad your home Jean," he said to her solemnly.

"I'm glad to be home Scott," she replied and walked towards her room. She opened the door and quickly closed it behind him. She was bum rushed with tears and let them spill down her face as she tried to muffle her cries. On the other side stood Scott with his hand in the shape of a fist about to knock on the door, but he heard her phone ring and walked away. He still had the words at the tip of his tongue…

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**I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you  
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you**

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_Review please!_


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